WOOLIES RAP Lyrics – Ash Chapman
Singer: Ash Chapman
Title: WOOLIES RAP
Good afternoon customers, if you’re looking for a bargain, come on down the deli department today for some 50% off fresh raps
That’s right customers, we’ve got half price raps
Seriously, we’re trying to get rid of these rappers in our store
Please place items in the swagging area
Go down to woolies, get a roast chook
Grab a bit of coleslaw so i don’t need to cook
If it’s got a yellow ticket then i buy a bulk pack
Always use the self serve, don’t look back
Two avocados, i could steal that
Scan ’em as onions, put ’em in my bag (it’s chеaper)
You can’t call it theft if i made a mistakе
Gonna take and bake this bloody great mud cake (whoopsie)
Out for a smoke when i’m not on break
Giving old mate some of my spare change (here ya go)
Have you tried the sushi?
“yeah, it’s great, they make it on-site, that’s a top notch trait”
It’s five o’clock and i’m stuck behind a truck (f#ckin’ dog)
Went before dark and i can’t find a park (f#ckin’ dog)
Someone left their trolley in my car park (f#ckin’ dog)
Which toothpaste do i choose to get plaque out? (i dunno)
Oral b or colgate, it’s all the same
If it’s on special, i don’t care about the name
But if i spend too much, then it all adds up
And my wife acts up and i’m to blame (why you spendin’ so much?)
Gotta feed the kids
Fresh food peeps are best in the biz
Don’t forget your wishlist when you’re shopping christmas
Jesus, mariah carey on the radio again, what is this? (turn that off)
Got so many points on my rewards card
Fresh bread warmer than the lord’s #ss
But i’m in and out, i don’t mess about
Gotta get home, make a pavlova (it’s an egg cake)
Go down to woolies, get a roast chook
Grab a bit of coleslaw so i don’t need to cook
If it’s got a yellow ticket then i buy a bulk pack
Always use the self serve, don’t look back
Coles cookies are for dumbass rookies
Woolies cookies got me doing the boogie
At the checkout, stolen mince in my hoodie
I’m getting served by my highschool bully
You’re stuck at aldi with coins in your trolley
I’m up at woolies, my trolley boy stocky
Fill up my body with choccies and lollies
Pingin’ off homebrand instant coffee
Shit, they’re out of milk on the shelf
Quick, go ask a worker for help
Hey cobber, can you look out the back for this?
“f#k off wesda, i really don’t give a shit”
Self serve girl saw me put that garlic through as an onion
She knows i stole english muffins but she’s not a snitching c#nt
Go down to woolies, get a roast chook
Grab a bit of coleslaw so i don’t need to cook
If it’s got a yellow ticket then i buy a bulk pack
Always use the self serve, don’t look back
Two avocados, i could steal that
Scan ’em as onions, put ’em in my bag
You can’t call it theft if i made a mistake
Gonna take and bake this bloody great mud cake
I see my girl helen, she workin’ the service desk
I got a price query, she call up long life to check
She got the wristguard and she follows oh&s
Bought a crusier nextdoor from the bws
Say i need dozen of free range eggs on the cheap
She tells me all of the specials they’ve got on this week
She knows her produce, she makes my potatoes leak
She took me to deli and wrapped up my sausage meat
Go down to woolies, get a roast chook
Grab a bit of coleslaw so i don’t need to cook
Self serve attendants havin’ a sook ’cause i stole jamie oliver’s recipe book
Two avocados, i could steal that
Scan ’em as onions, put ’em in my bag
I’m sick of the christmas songs over the speaker
Choc eggs on display six months before easter (it’s january)
Thank you for shoppin’ at woolworths
Find more lyrics at lyrics.jspinyin.net
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Lyrics Ash Chapman – WOOLIES RAP
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