White Plight Lyrics – Eric Detzel
Singer: Eric Detzel
Title: White Plight
Don’t try to act like you empathize with my plight
Don’t try to act like you empathize with my plight
Don’t try to act like you empathize with my plight
Let me walk you through a day in life of the white man, alright?
Wake up in the morning, my sleep number is busted
I’m pretty sure that customer service cannot be trusted
Maaaaan, they hung up on me after a little cussin’
They said the warranties up but I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t
Ugh, my Perc bottles got only oxygen in it
So I gotta call my cousin, the one whose doctor can get it
Oh, he’s on vacation at his third homе in the keys
Ain’t nobody having a tougher morning than mе
Time to hop on twitter for a few sympathy likes
Then “Hey Siri, order me a venti on ice”
Network error, ugh guess I’ll be waiting in line
Pay for gigabit internet, whatever it’s fine
I’ll give ’em my mind and get a cheaper price for my plan
What a sham, Verizon tryin to oppress me again
I have to fight for every single right that I can
It’s so hard being a man as white as I am
There’s no plight like white!
Don’t try to act like you empathize with my plight
Don’t try to act like you empathize with my plight
Don’t try to act like you empathize with my plight
Let me walk you through a day in life of the white man, alright?
Ok, not the best start of the day
These types of hardships are constantly in my way
So I hop in the Jag, cause the shops got the McLaren
Welp, my brand new iPhone 12 isn’t pairing
I swear I’m never gonna buy an Apple product again
I’m selling my watch, home, pad, book, television
And you know they ain’t giving me that like new price
So distracted didn’t notice the bright blue lights
Pulling me over in a discriminatory fashion
Cause this whip happens to be one of my passions
He says I’m going fast like 85 in a 40
Here, talk to my lawyer, he let me off with a warning
Great now I be late to my tax accountant appointment
But first I’m hitting Starbucks, for a little enjoyment
All out of nitro, you wouldn’t understand
How hard it is for a man as white as I am
There’s no plight like white
Don’t try to act like you empathize with my plight
Don’t try to act like you empathize with my plight
Don’t try to act like you empathize with my plight
Let me walk you through a day in life of the white man, alright?
It was supposed to be cloudy, now I’m red skinned
Man that Washington team name was offensive
Look I’m not normally one to be getting aggressive
But out of glutenless, berry smoothies isn’t impressive
For Wegman’s especially, you’re telling me your manager’s busy?
Yes I’m completely serious, now where the hell is he?
My cell rizzings, before I could rip him a new poop hole
My tax accountant says that they’re closing every loophole
I’m paying taxes for the first time in a decade
These socialists attacking me solely because I get paid
No time for lamenting a perpetual pale tragedy
Hop in the ride to the next place that they’ll badger me
Bluetooth’s spotty I, open my brothers Spotify, and rap every word to NWA casually
I’d get canceled if I posted the vid on Instagram
What about my freedom of speech? No body gives a damn?
About a white man having dinner at Ruth’s Chris
Give my boo a kiss as we sit and order a few strips
In twenty-two minutes, dude gives us the two dishes
I hate to be a nuisance do you know where my au jus is?
Now everyone witness the waiter repent
Now they can witness me tipping an eighth of a cent
If white lives mattered, the manager’d understand
That it’s difficult for a man whose as white as I am
There’s no plight like white
Don’t try to act like you empathize with my plight
Don’t try to act like you empathize with my plight
Don’t try to act like you empathize with my plight
Let me walk you through a day in life of the white man, alright?
I was picked last in pickup basketball again
Yes, of course I mentioned my proficient fundamentals
Affirmative action’s to blame for my rejection
My admission and my father’s eponymous scholarship are coincidental
My sacred Sunday was ruined
By athletes kneeling on old glory’s neck at my idol’s instrumental
It’s a he said she said situation
Look who we elected, oh now we want to be judgmental?
There’s no plight like
There’s no plight like
There’s no plight like
White
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Lyrics Eric Detzel – White Plight
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