I Wash My #ss Like a Man Lyrics – Kollektivet
Singer: Kollektivet
Title: I Wash My #ss Like a Man
I wake up in the morning, ahhh…
Satin covers
I have my breakfast with some lovely herbal tea
And then I brush and floss my teeth and hit the shower
Honey milk shampoo and facial cream
And then it’s time for little ol’ me to wash my ASSSSSSSSSS!!!
Eww, what are you doing?
I’m washing my #ss
It looks like you’re trying to kill it
Honey, this is how a man washes his #ss
Listen!
I wash my #ss like a man
I wash my #ss like a man
I wash my #ss like a man
I wash my #ss like a man
This is what we do
Gotta get them traces of poo
From the top of the #ss crack
All the way to the ball sack
Ah, I wash my #ss like a man
Use some water and soap
And a gun that goes bang!
There are species down there, unknown to mankind
And when the sh#t hits the fanny
sh#t get crazy behind
I take my hand and reach
For detergent and bleach
Eliminate the dingleberries and wipe till it bleeds
This ain’t no pH friendly soap
It’s f#cking acid on a cactus
Smear some hydrocortisone on a rock
That’s the practice
There is no escaping
Gotta get that butthole gaping
With the razor blades scrapin’
We be fistin’ #ss r**in’
I wash my #ss like a man
I wash my #ss like a man
I pluck my eyebrown now and then
I wash my #ss like a man
Get out of the shower
Dry my #ss with a towel
Then I smell that sh#t
Still smells like sh#t
Get back in there and wash it like a man again
I wash my #ss like a man
I wash my #ss like a man
I wash my #ss like a man
Chicks can just splash some water
To get that #ss shiny
I wrap barbed wire around my hands
And go Bruce Lee on my heinie
Sand paper, blow torch, chainsaw, pile driver
You got a breeze blowing gently between your cheeks
Smells of flowers and sunshine
While my #ss reeks
You got a hairless rear
I got a jungle down there
You get eaten by an orangutan
Conditions are worse than in Pyongyang
You gotta understand the consequences of #ss
If we don’t wash it proper
We’ll get lethal levels of methane gas
Biochemical shitstorms
Death and disease
If the UN went in there they would find WMDs
So I rub and scrub and grope until I’m all outta breath
My hand is my shepherd in the valley of death
I wash my #ss like a man
I wash my #ss like a man
I do my yoga routine
And wash wash my #ss like a man
I think I tore myself a new one when I washed my #ss with that gun
I wash my #ss like a man
I wash my #ss like a man
I love scented candles then
I wash my #ss like a man
Ladies of the world, heed the words of this song
Lend your man a hand and turn that high pressure washer on!
High pressure washer on!
High pressure washer on!
Help your man get clean and turn that high pressure washer on!
High pressure washer on!
High pressure washer on!
We can do it together with that high pressure washer on!
Damn, my butt has never been this clean
You could practically eat off of it
Fantastic!
*fart*
g#dd#mn it!
Find more lyrics at lyrics.jspinyin.net
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Lyrics Kollektivet – I Wash My #ss Like a Man
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