Dog Stay Lyrics – Steven Wright
Singer: Steven Wright
Title: Dog Stay
Recently, i was walking my dog around my building… on the ledge
A lot of people are afraid of heights. not me. i’m afraid of widths
I have a three-year-old dog. i named him stay
He was a lot of fun when he was a puppy ’cause i’d call him, and i’d say, “c’mere, stay! c’mere, stay!” and he would go…
He’s a lot smarter than that now. now, when i call him, he’ll just ignore me and keep on typing
He’s an east german shepherd. very, very disciplined
—
Last night, i was in a bar and i walked up to this beautiful woman and i said, “do you live around here often?”
She said, “you’rе wearing two different color socks.”
I said, “yеs, but to me, they’re the same ’cause i go by thickness.”
And she said, “how do you feel?”
And i said, “well, you know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and then you lean too far and you almost fall over, but just at the last second, you catch yourself? i feel like that all the time.”
—
I have a map of the united states that’s the actual size
It says, “one mile = one mile”
When people ask where i live, i say, “e5.”
Last summer, i folded it
—
My girlfriend has a queen size bed and i have a court jester size bed
It’s red and green and has bells on it
The ends curl up
I woke up one morning. she asked me if i slept good. i said, “no, i made a few mistakes.”
—
I got a postcard from my best friend george. it was a satellite picture of the entire earth and on the back, he wrote, “wish you were here.”
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Lyrics Steven Wright – Dog Stay
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