Cont Lyrics – Tim Minchin
Singer: Tim Minchin
Title: Cont
So, yeah, this is, um, this is a new song I’ve written. It’s kind of a, sort of jaunty swing number and it’s called, um, “Cont”
I don’t like Jews…
Neither should you
They’re ethically and spiritually poor, that’s a fact
I don’t like black people…
It’s just not acceptable
There should be some kind of law that is that
And I get the sh#ts with Inuits…
They get on my t#ts, the little b#stards
And women…
Just make me so mad, does that make me bad?
Am I bad, is that bad?
And the f#ckin’ Italians, I just cannot stand them…
They really inspire my rancour
Cheating f#cking Italian wankers
And lesbians and the bi-curious
Make me furious…
It’s not their fault, I know, but still… grr!
And f#ckin’ Christians…
I just want to punch ’em in their faces…
And I’m not comfortable with Muslims on the tube…
And I can’t stand publicly breast-feeding mothers…
And I hate gays who talk camp-ly…
And the f#ckin’ Chinese make me angry…
I hate the rich…
I hate the poor…
I hate b#tches…
I hate wh#res…
I hate Africans…
I hate Japanese…
I hate the disabled…
I hate Burmese…
Yeah, I don’t care about your colour or your creed
I will judge you for no reason…
Is that… is that… no, just stop. Ohhh. Oh, f#ck. Sorry, I… it’s, ugh, that’s the trouble with trying out new stuff. It’s… half the lyr- I had half the lyrics covered up. I thought I was… I was only… I think we, I think we should probably do it again; I think if we leave it there, I might run the risk of being misconstrued. It’s not even called “Cont”, it’s called “Context”!
I don’t like Jews
Who make and distribute kiddy p#rn
Neither should you
They’re ethically and spiritually poor, that’s a fact
I don’t like black people
Who risk billions of other peoples money gambling on future derivatives
It’s just not acceptable
There should be some kind of law that is that
And I get the sh#ts with Inuits
Who find out what job I do
And regale me with a racist joke or two
They get on my t#ts, the little b#stards
And women
Who judge other women for not holding the same views as them vis-a-vis career and mothering
Just make me so mad, does that make me bad?
Am I bad, is that bad?
And the f#ckin’ Italians, I just cannot stand them
When they take a dive in the penalty box, denying Australia its World Cup spot
They really inspire my rancour
Cheating f#ckin’ Italian wankers
And lesbians and the bi-curious
Make me furious
When their pride parade blocked the traffic flow when my baby had asthma and had to go to the hospital
It’s not their fault, I know, but still… grr!
And f#ckin’ Christians
Who lean on their horn when my wife is being cautious at an intersection
I just want to punch them in their faces, although my anger is fleeting
I understand their frustration, she’s a little too hesitant
And I’m not comfortable with Muslims on the tube
Who look over my shoulder when I’m reading
And I can’t stand publicly breast-feeding mothers
Who smoke cigarettes while they’re feeding
And I hate gays who talk camp-ly
During the final act of King Lear
And the f#ckin’ Chinese make me angry
When they make sham erection potions out of the horns of endangered rhinoceros
I hate the rich who use their wealth as an excuse for bigotry
I hate the poor who use their poverty as an excuse for bigotry
I hate b#tches who get rabies and try to bite babies
I hate wh#res who won’t accept Visa
I hate African racists
I hate Japanese h#mophobes
I hate those disabled rapists
I hate Burmese cats
Yeah, I don’t care about your colour or your creed
I will judge you for no reason
But your deeds!
So, um…
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Lyrics Tim Minchin – Cont
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